It’s all heating up in the Champions League. Knockout football is here, and this is when the big players stand up to be counted.
This week brought us plenty of outstanding performances, and it’s up to us at 90min to rank them all. But as this has been a special week, it’s time for a special theme. To celebrate the fun of the last 16, we’ve ranked the top 16 players using quotes from 16 movies from 2000.
Let’s get into it.
“There’s a ghost in my house. I saw her in the water, beside me, in the bathtub.” (What Lies Beneath)
Suarez looked like he had seen a ghost when he realised that Antonio Rudiger was the wrong guy to mess with.
“We need more thrust!” (Chicken Run)
Giakoumakis could have done with a little extra energy this week.
He failed to score in VVV-Venlo’s 4-1 loss to AZ Alkmaar, bringing a run of six goals in three games to an abrupt end.
“So, what are you so happy about?”
“You just caught me on a good night. I’m doing what I was made to do – and I’ve got a feeling I’m going to do it even better this time.” (The Perfect Storm)
There were a few good nights for Moreno this week.
He managed one goal against Athletic Club – his sixth in the last five league games – and Moreno then followed that up with a double against Salzburg in the Europa League.
“I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.” (American Psycho)
It was an assist frenzy for the normally lethal Weghorst.
The Bundesliga’s fourth-top scorer turned into an elite creator this week, setting up two goals in Wolfsburg’s 3-0 win over Arminia Bielefeld.
“Fit as a f**king fiddle.” (Wonder Boys)
Silva is not fit as a f**king fiddle.
He missed his chance to meet up with arch rival Robert Lewandowski this week as a back injury kept him on the sidelines, but fortunately for him, his Frankfurt side didn’t even need him.
“How would you like to join us at Man Utd?”
“Very nice of you, but I’ve got a better offer.”
“What could be better than Man Utd, son?”
“Man City!” (There’s Only One Jimmy Grimble)
There are few better offers than to be part of Manchester City these days.
The only downside of their two victories this week is that Gundogan’s electric scoring streak looks to have come to an end as he drew blanks against Arsenal and Gladbach.
“This s**t is good.” (Scary Movie)
How good is Kimmich?
He was superb in Bayern Munich‘s 4-1 win over Lazio – a victory which actually set a new record in the Champions League. It was Kimmich’s 38th victory in his first 50 games in the competition, and no player has ever matched that.
“I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?” (Cast Away)
The hype around Mbappe could hardly have faded faster this week.
After his hat-trick at Camp Nou turned him into the greatest man on earth, Mbappe disappeared as his PSG side fell to a defeat to Monaco which has dragged them back into a battle for the top three. Big yikes.
“You know what we should do?”
“No… eat!” (Dude, Where’s My Car?)
Isak has been feasting over the past few weeks, but he took things to a whole new level last time out.
He came into Real Sociedad’s meeting with Alaves on a run of six goals in five games, and he added an outstanding hat-trick this week. Nine goals (and an assist) in six games.
“We’re not meant to survive.”
“Oh, yes we were! We’re here, aren’t we?” (Dinosaur)
He picked up a goal and an assist in his side’s 4-0 win over Schalke, but there was someone else who stole the show. Stay tuned.
“Are you not entertained?” (Gladiator)
Ronaldo bagged two headers in the space of eight minutes to give his side an insurmountable lead, and he would have had a third if he hadn’t missed an open goal a few seconds later. Busy day.
“You’re not gonna shoot me Sean, not this b***h, ‘cause she’s worth £37m.” (Mission: Impossible 2)
Something tells me Haaland might be worth a little more than £37m these days. Just a thought.
His acrobatic volley against Schalke defied all known laws of physics, but that’s just what Haaland does these days.
“Big smile, like you mean it!” (The Road to El Dorado)
Fernandes didn’t even mean to be good this week. Truth be told, he was a bit rubbish against Newcastle.
Can someone explain how he still managed to come away with a goal and an assist?
“Max, help me! I’m feeling!” (How the Grinch Stole Christmas)
It was up to Messi to bag the game’s first two goals, after which Jordi Alba answered his call and added a third.
“I mean, can you ever really trust another human being, Greg?”
“Sure, I think so.”
“No. The answer is you cannot.” (Meet the Parents)
Bumped off top spot for the first time in a bazillion weeks, Lewandowski saw his hard work in front of goal undone by Bayern’s shaky defence.
Five days after conceding three to Arminia Bielefeld, Bayern shipped two against Frankfurt, ensuring Lewandowski’s second-half strike was little more than a consolation.
“Mutation: it is the key to our evolution. It has enabled us to evolve from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet.” (X-Men)
Having mutated into one of the scariest strikers in world football, Lukaku is having the time of his life.
He tore AC Milan apart in the derby this week, offering up a goal, an assist and a fantastically aggressive celebration, reminding Zlatan Ibrahimovic who the king of Milan really is.